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45 Fat and Feeling Good
Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Breeze driftin’ on by You know how I feel It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life For me I’ve made the decision to become unstoppable. For as long as I can remember, other people’s opinions have mattered to me. If I make the cut, I won’t have stage fright. If I pass this audition, I’ll have the confidence. If someone publishes me, I’ll be able to handle the negative critics. Always needing some kind of validation before I’ll truly believe that I deserve to be doing whatever it…
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Disney Mornings Playlist
Hakuna Your Mornings Do you have a secret desire to be a mermaid? Do you like to hold up your pet(s) and pretend they’re a cub destined for greatness? Does a perfect day for you include pirates, hitchhiking ghosts, churros and fireworks? Honey, are you a bit of a nostalgia whore? Yes! Same. What I am not, though, is a morning person and sometimes I need a little help to get me moving. Ugh. I lied. It’s all the time. All the time I need a help to get me moving. So I figured, why not get help from the music and memories that have been helping me since I…
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I Kneel to Stand
Kneel to Stand Right and wrong. Love and hate. Respect and intolerance. Make a choice. Speak despite fear. Take a stand. I stand with Nike. I stand with Kap. Black Lives Matter.
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Dealing with PTSD
This blog post isn’t for everyone and it isn’t for attention. The sole purpose of this blog is to reach anyone else who may be going through something similar and could benefit from knowing that they aren’t alone in this fight of theirs. I’ve been reliving a childhood trauma on a pretty consistent basis for a few months now. I’ve never properly dealt with this happening, having been encouraged at an early age to not talk about it. And before this, my conscious mind could handle burying my memory for about a decade at a time. Every ten years or so, I’d remember what happened and spiral a bit out…
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Pride of Doing
I’ve always been a dreamer. And for all of my life that I can remember, I have dreamt of being a “published author.” When I was little, I just knew I wanted to tell stories and write but by the time I was in the third grade, the words published author were my two favorites. I loved thinking about being a writer. Imaging the fulfilling life I’d lead. People would love my books! They’d bring joy! And laughter! They’d change people. I’d be appreciated and accepted. I’d be applauded. And because I was a writer, I’d still be able to walk amongst the people without being hounded. Oh, I had…
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Acceptance
I’m beginning to realize that I’ve always let people mistreat me, even from my very first relationship in college. My mom once said to me during this time that she thought it was lucky I ended up with someone who treated me so well; she always figured my low self-esteem would lead me to finding someone who would misuse me. Thing is, and this was not some devil of a guy, he was a real dick sometimes. But I wasn’t strong enough at the time to even acknowledge that he was being a dick to me. I’d say that I spent at least the first twenty-five years in a total…
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42
Why is it that we count our years of age, anyway? I mean we know our birthdate. D’uh. We have a birth certificate and crap. And we can celebrate on the anniversary of that date every year, if we like — there’s no sense not having a party with cake and ice cream. But why do we have to count the years of our life like we’re fucking prisoners in jail, marking time in scratches on the wall? Is that how we feel? Like we’re trapped in our own lives just waiting for the comforting kiss of death? We’re all sad and pathetic, just ticking off the time like we’ve…
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Grandma Bernice: The New Propaganda Machine
In this age of the Internet and social media, propaganda is not just the work and ammunition of governments and political parties anymore. Any run of the mill human being can now join in on the fun of spreading lies and misinformation just like their favorite underhanded politicians. In just one afternoon on Facebook, you can see dozens of articles, click bait and videos promoting false angles on news stories in addition to the straight-out lies being floated around. And even though we may see that these stories have originated from websites or organizations that are fueled by alternative facts, also known as fiction, most of the time we see…
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Year Forty and One
So, I’ve been forty-one for a couple of months now and I would’ve thought that I’d hate it. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t love the number, but now that I’m realizing how much of my response to that number comes from what men have told me (men who have decided that they’re still sexually spry at the age of 80), I’m a little like “fuck you, whatever”. Basically, me at 41 is pretty unapologetic about who I am. And that has honestly changed my entire life. Sure, I’m still married and pretty much all the vital stats are the same but the growth I’ve had in the past…
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Questions
Normally, I like to think that I have all the answers. Although I certainly haven’t fooled myself into thinking I’m an astronaut or rocket scientist, I do like to think that I know stuff. I do well at Jeopardy. My educated guesses are pretty right on. I tend to figure out who the killer is pretty early in movies or tv shows. And I pick up things fairly quickly, in general. Basically, I’m awesome. But, this isn’t that kind of blog post. Cause there are just some things that I don’t understand. Like, superficial judgement. Whether it has do to with your race or gender or physical…
