I Am…

You know what’s a nice little challenge to set for yourself? Blog about panic attacks without having one. Cause, I’ll be honest, I don’t love telling strangers that I get panic attacks. Fuck, I don’t love telling anyone.  Now, I could say that the reason for this is the stigma behind panic attacks. And that...

It’s Always Sunny on Criminal Minds

You know what’s like seeing a shooting star on the night of a full moon during a leap year while the olympics are going on? A tv show crossover.  And I’m not talking about those very special episodes that network television loves to do in order to force people into tuning into shows they normally...

Short Poppies — the best damn reason to learn to pronounce the name Rhys.

Let’s talk for just a minute about Rhys Darby, New Zealand’s most delightful and enigmatic national treasure. My fiancé and I just finished watching Short Poppies, Darby’s 8-episode faux-documentary, centering on the overly-ordinary and completely unusual fictional small town of “The Bay”. In each episode, The Bay’s mockumentary focusses on one townie of choice, always...

Wedding Vows

So, I’m getting married in a month. Like, literally. On this date in November of 2015, I will be getting married. Okay, so now we’re one day off cause I fell asleep writing this. Lots of things are tough about wedding planning. Just like lots of things about it are totally easy and totally fucking...

I am the Puppet Master

So, I’ve discovered that the quickest and easiest way for me to feel like a living, breathing god is for me to solve my own Internet problems. I was working at a pretty good clip, late Sunday night. I had my website projected up on the living room wall, designing away — trying to make...

Down with Hate

So, about a week and a half ago I clicked on an article that was brought to you by Cafe Mom’s The Stir. It was my fault for clicking the link. Normally I’m not a sucker for articles like this “90s Heartthrobs Who Look Awful Now” but the picture attached was one that I couldn’t...

Ahhhhhhhh!

I literally have no clue what to write for a query letter. I’m staring at this goddamn screen and literally nothing is coming into my head. I’m seriously the most bored that I’ve ever been in my life. And I hate Starbucks. Seriously. I don’t want to drink your coffee and your frappuchinos look like...

Questions

I have so many questions for Drake Bell right now. First off, who the hell do you think you are? No, seriously, give a girl a hand. Who the fuck are you again? Why is it that I should know your name? Why is that I should give a crap about anything you think? Are...

Our Human Legacy

I read a post on Facebook today, which yes, was my first mistake. It was about the President and was just some dumb photoshopped sign that wasn’t funny at all. And when I say that it wasn’t funny at all, I don’t mean that I didn’t find it funny because I didn’t agree with the...

Vaginas Unite!

Is this really how things are going to be?  Rebel Wilson is apparently 35 and not 29 and the world has gone fucking ape shit over it. Meanwhile, Maggie Gyllenhaal was told that she’s apparently too old to be cast as the love interest of a 55 year old man.  Are you fucking kidding me?...