Monkey, Monkey, Underpants: It's a Blog!

I say stuff. I draw stuff, too. It's pretty awesome. You should check it out.

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I just saw a girl at #Disneyland whose cutoffs were so short that I couldn't tell if the fringes were denim or if she just had a #tampon in.


I don't mean to brag but I'm literally too fucking smart to be around most of you people.


Whenever we buy gelcaps, I feel ritzy.


Just three of my genius tweets to wet your whistle!

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Always the Insta-gator!

A fan of artsy shit? Social justice warrior? Peace spreader and motivator of other humans? Just an all-around cool person who takes interesting pictures that aren't just of food, their kids or a body wrap they want me to buy? AWESOME! Let's be Insta-friends.

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If You Were an Alien, Would You Want to Live Here: an Alien Hypothesis

I don't work at NASA. I'm not a resident of Roswell, waiting for visits from above and beyond. I don't know squat about aliens and this book has nothing to do with them. That's right, nothing. Not one single thing. Instead, it's all about us. It's about human beings and how our behavior and lifestyle choices would look to someone peering at us from the outside. Would our eating habits make sense? Our mating habits? How about our fascination with war and God and The Bachelor? How do we as a species hold up under scrutiny?

To not read this book is to deny yourself an epic life-changing event that will forever alter the way you look at people, our planet and yourself. Plus, you'll miss out on meeting your new favorite author -- the one who reintroduced you to common sense and compassion through a cunning use of words and wit and taught you that the best kind of laughter is the one aimed squarely at yourself.


Worried E.T. is coming to use you as a skin suit? One courageous writer examines why Earth isn't the Home for Wayward Aliens we fear...

If You Were An Alien, Would You Want To Live Here: an Alien Hypothesis reads as a hilarious manifesto, set-up to be the latest in the world of cult followings and smack-you-in-the-face honesty that reaches inside of you and smacks you square in the conscience with your funny bone.