Monkey, Monkey, Underpants: It's a Blog!

I say stuff. Lots of stuff. Sometimes it's important stuff. Sometimes not. Sometimes, there's media attached. Sometimes it's artsy shit that I've done. Other times it's just a quote I like. Once, I did a video blog. And somewhere on here is a Mean Girls clip. Check that shit out. It's a pretty good movie.


Extra credit for anyone that finds the Gilmore Girls reference.

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Arty at the Party

I've always had two constants in my life:

  • I'm a writer.
  • I can't draw for shit.

Recently, I tried the other kind of art again. And it turns out, sometimes people can actually recognize the things I draw or paint or whatever. (Shut up! I know -- I'm like magic!)  So, I've found that I kind of love how relaxing and de-stressing this new hobby is and how good it makes me feel. Check out my gallery of "art" (artists everywhere have asked that I use quotes around the word at this time). It's a broad array of crap. Hopefully, they'll be something there that makes an impression.

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Social Butterfly

Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. I've even dipped my toe into a little Snapchat AND I created a Tumblr account!

I know what you're thinking...holy hell, you social megastar!!

You a fan of artsy shit? A social justice warrior? A peace spreader and motivator of other humans? Want to make people laugh? Want to make people think? A fan of Community that just wants to rehash all the episodes and mumble #sixseasonsandamovie over and over?? Duuuuude, me too! We should totally hook up! Check out my social media links at the bottom of the page and read on for one of my gloriously funny tweets, free of charge!


I just saw a girl at #Disneyland whose cutoffs were so short that I couldn't tell if the fringes were denim or if she just had a #tampon in.


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If You Were an Alien, Would You Want to Live Here: an Alien Hypothesis

I don't work at NASA. I'm not a resident of Roswell, waiting for visits from above and beyond. I don't know squat about aliens and this book has nothing to do with them. That's right, nothing. Not one single thing. Instead, it's all about us. It's about human beings and how our behavior and lifestyle choices would look to someone peering at us from the outside. Would our eating habits make sense? Our mating habits? How about our fascination with war and God and The Bachelor? How do we as a species hold up under scrutiny?

To not read this book is to deny yourself an epic life-changing event that will forever alter the way you look at people, our planet and yourself. Plus, you'll miss out on meeting your new favorite author -- the one who reintroduced you to common sense and compassion through a cunning use of words and wit and taught you that the best kind of laughter is the one aimed squarely at yourself.


Worried E.T. is coming to use you as a skin suit? One courageous writer examines why Earth isn't the Home for Wayward Aliens we fear...

If You Were An Alien, Would You Want To Live Here: an Alien Hypothesis reads as a hilarious manifesto, set-up to be the latest in the world of cult followings and smack-you-in-the-face honesty that reaches inside of you and smacks you square in the conscience with your funny bone.